Question by : College App Short Essay?
Hi there!

Im filling out a college application and I want you to proof read and comment on my essay. I am applying for a nursing major and the question prompt is:

Describe your professional nursing goals, including your personal definition of nursing and concept of career opportunities in this field.

Here is my short essay response:

Being a registered nurse is far greater than setting a cast of a young boy’s broken arm, or taking the vitals of a woman with the seasonal flu. A nurse interacts with the patient and provides support to the family more than anyone else during their medical visit. Luke 9:2 states “and He sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick”. Nursing is not only treating the hospitalized, but empowering them to live their life for God, themselves and their family, in whatever mentality they are able. With the vast opportunities in the nursing field, I can assist anyone, from a family welcoming a new baby, or helping another family cope with the loss of a loved one.

I appreciate all responses and critiques!

Thank you very much

Best answer:

Answer by nicolerox23
Oh my God…Im getting really emotional…..

But maybe you should do more of what the prompt asks….I dont know if you did, but I think answering the question more generally or specifically would help.

Good luck!!! keep us posted on if you get in?

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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